A.D.D., A.D.H.D, attention deficit disorder, disabilities, Family, Life!, marriage, mental health, motherhood, parenting, Uncategorized

The Struggle is Real: ADD & Motherhood DO NOT MIX!

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It’s been quite some time since I’ve posted for my blog and I have a very good reason, I promise you! My very last post was approximately written about 3 years ago, yes, I know unacceptable. But please, I beg of you, there is a valid excuse. I became a mom!  In addition to that I have ADD and to throw another responsibility into the mix, I teach Special Education at the high school level. I know, I know, I’m not the only mom out there who has to juggle a multitude of tasks, but to be honest, it’s fucking hard, time-consuming and stressful as hell and I have the utmost respect for those moms who have their shit together. I would give my left leg to have my shit together.

I’m sure many of you non-super-Pinterest-moms out there most likely cannot relate because you are simply amazing, but at least I know that there are other ADD moms out there who can. I’m really going to focus on maintaining my blog because I really need some ” me time.” I honestly don’t care if that sounds the least bit selfish because as a mom, you need that time. My “me”time usually consists of spending time in the bathroom until my three year old, Emma,  begins banging on the door while screaming          “DON’T LEAVE ME MOMMY!” On the top of her fucking lungs! Like seriously I can’t get a moment to breathe. Where the hell does she think I’m going to go? I’m in the bathroom that’s less than a foot away from your room!

I know being a mom with ADD can be super stressful sometimes, (O.K.–most of the time!) but to be quite frank, I would not change it for the world. I love being a mom and the craziness that comes along with the job keeps me on my toes. My daughter is the best thing that has ever happened to me!

Here is a list of my top ten struggles that I face as an ADD mom!!! I hope many of you can relate!

1.I tend to lose a lot of things! There have been MANY instances when I was supposed to fill out a form for Emma’s daycare and I lost the paper–not once, but a few times! Lets just say that I lose my cell, debit card, keys and anything that is considered important on a daily basis. This is an extremely touchy subject for me because losing things causes so much stress in mine and Emma’s life.

2.I am very forgetful! I might forget to bring something to a party at Emma’s school. Sorry kids, I know I signed up to bring in the juice boxes and plates, looks like you will be drinking tap water and eating caveman style! #bannedfromclassparties.  I tend to forget to sign her in and out on the computer at her school in the mornings. I can’t tell you how many times the owner reminds me how this is a safety issue in addition to his way of tracking whether or not I pick her up later than I am supposed to so that he can charge me an additional 5 dollars. I am living off a teacher’s salary for christ’s sake, can’t you cut me a damn break? Those 5 dollars add up quickly. Oh, and filling my gas tank? That is another nightmare. I found myself stranded in the middle of a major highway most recently because I forgot to fill my gas tank!

3.  Did I mention forgetfulness? Don’t get me started. This causes me to be late for EVERYTHING.I lose my keys, forget to grab Emma’s lunchbox or backpack on our way to school in the morning. I have caused us to be locked out of the house for hours. Then when I go to get the spare key that is hidden outside (which my husband hid purposely to prevent this), I suddenly remember that I forgot to put it back in the hiding spot! I forget to pack certain things that Emma may need for school (show and tell items, bathing suit, etc.). Thank god my daughter has a much better memory that I do, she is always there to remind me! “Listen Em, during show and tell, just show everyone your imaginary toy. Then when they say that they cannot see it, tell them they’re nuts). LOL

4.I tend to let her down sometimes. I  forget making promises or plans with her. I am lucky to have such an understanding three-year-old who has developed empathy for my disability.

5.My disorganization and messiness is rubbing off on my daughter and I fear this will continue as she grows up. I have gotten much better over the years because I have learned to stay on top of my piles. I started to put things away throughout the day. However, Emma does not understand the concept of putting her toys away when she is done playing with them nor does she understand the concept of  keeping her room clean. It looks like an explosion went off in her bedroom. There are piles everywhere. Can you say recipe for disaster?

6.Sometimes, I am easily agitated (especially if I forgot to fill my prescription) and when I feel that way, I tend to ignore her or get mad at the smallest things. Especially when she hangs all over me or asks me for something a million times. I fucking LOSE IT!

 7.I tend to lose interest at times when I am engaged in an activity with Emma. This causes her to feel like I am not interested in spending time with her. “Ok, mommy will color with you for a minute.” (one minute into coloring)….. “How about a puzzle now? I have to go do laundry. Sorry kid, looks like you’re on your own.”

8.She really wants a brother or sister, and although I would love to provide her with that, I know I won’t be able to handle the responsibility of having two children. “Sorry Em, it looks like you will have to rely on your cousins for companionship.” Thanks ADD!!

9.Food shopping & cooking!!! I am having some serious anxiety just thinking about this! I could write an entire post solely on the hatred I feel towards food shopping and cooking. THANK GOD my husband is the complete opposite and is like Gordon Ramsay in the kitchen. #lovemyironchef  I fucking hate food shopping and cooking. I just vomitted a little bit in my mouth thinking about it. My heart is literally pounding as a I write this post. When my husband tells me to go food shopping (after we have literally eaten everything in the house), I grit my teeth, nod and smile forcefully. As soon as I enter the grocery store, I am overcome with an instant feeling of panic and confusion. Feelings of anger consume my mind and I shoot nasty texts to my husband. “Why are you making me do this? Is this some sort of punishment?” He has learned to ignore those texts because it is my way of coping. Since I have no system or sense of organization, I just start tossing shit in the cart. When I go to checkout, and the cashier asks for coupons… my answer is always the same “yea.. uhmmmm, I really have to start using those.. if I could only get my shit together”then the cashier asks if I have my savings card… I realize that I lost that a long time ago so I plug in my old cell phone number to retrieve it… because I was too lazy to update the account. And cooking? Do not get me started… Lets just say, it is an absolute nightmare.

10.The one thing that really SUCKS about being a mom and teacher with ADD is getting myself and a toddler ready in the morning, oh, and FORGETFULNESS. Can we say fucking nightmare? My morning consists of hitting the snooze button a thousand times (literally) and rushing around the house like a madman. Dressing my daughter when she is half asleep and having to run to Wawa to buy Emma’s lunch because, well, I didn’t stay on top of the food shopping. On my way out, I realize I forgot Emma’s backpack and run in to get it only to realize I removed my key off my key ring the other day so that I could allow my car to run while I just ran in for something else I forgot. I then go to grab the spare that my husband hid only to find that I forgot to put that back. Sorry Em, looks like you won’t have your blanket or spare clothes today…. make sure you don’t crap your pants and maybe wearing your winter coat is a nice replacement for your blanket during nap-time.

And so here you have it! Just a list that I hope many of you can relate to so that you know you are not alone and that the #struggleisreal

Never forget: You are wonderful and you are doing an amazing job!!!

A.D.D., A.D.H.D, attention deficit disorder, disabilities, Life!, mental health, Uncategorized

Some People Call me Crazy

Throughout my life, I have been called crazy, nuts, and a head case–not only once, but multiple times. I have been told that I am “not all there” and  am “off my rocker.” I used to be very offended by those statements, however, presently I do not take the comments personally. I actually consider them to be compliments and I feel sorry for those people who do not understand mental illnesses or disabilities.

Throughout my entire life, especially during my teenage years, I knew that something  was not right and  I just could not put my finger on it. I struggled with depression, bulimia, anxiety and anger. I just thought it was a normal stage to go through in one’s life or that all teens experienced it. When I was 18 years old, I got so depressed to the point where I was desperate to escape the pain that I was feeling. I know that this may sound completely nuts, but sometimes the pain would be unbelievably unbearable that it seemed to be the easy way out.

As an adult, I would never even consider doing that and it has never once been a thought that has crossed my mind.When I was admitted into a hosital at 18, for a program for teens who struggle with depression, I can definitely say that I  learned a lot there. It was definitely a learning experience that I will never forget.

What contributed to my road to recovery was getting to know the other kids that were there and listening to their stories. I realized that I was sane, and that I was not the only one who was going through this difficult time. I also realized that my situation was not as bad as the other kids’ situations. Although some of the kids had better home lives than I did;their depression was worse because some of them would cut themselves. .

This experience made me realize that certain events that I had experienced in my life triggered my depression. I could not deal with the fact that I was adopted, that my parents got divorced, my mom’s death, and the neglect and abuse that I had to deal with from my adoptive mother. I also had to experience being kicked out of my father’s house after my mom died. I look back and see everything that I went through and am very proud of the obstacles that I had overcome and the accomplishments that I acheived on my own without the help of any parents. Many people doubted me, but I wanted to prove them wrong.

I ended up proving those wrong who doubted me by putting myself through college, graduated Magna Cum Laude, paid for my own apartment, worked my butt off and saved $30,000 dollars from waitressing ( I became obsessed with work, especially since I have ADD). I was sick of feeling sorry for myself, worked hard to fight my depression, and kept a positive attitude that life is worth living and that I will be successful one day. I even paid for my wedding, got married and bought a house at 25 years old.

One important lesson that I learned throughout all of this is that if you want something bad enough you can achieve anything. All that you have to do is  set your mind to it. I did exactly just that and became a certified Special Education English Teacher, got a job at a high school, and held the job for three years. I was able to help many of my students who were going through the same experiences that I was going through as a teen. I even saved some of my students’ lives.

Although my job unfortunately ended in the way that I did not want it to, I will never let that get the best of me. It only makes me want to work harder towards my new goals. This is because I know that I can do anything despite my disability and mental illness. I am thankful for having the opportunity to help so many of my students’ realize their strengths and that their life is worth living.

This takes a lot of courage for me to write about this online for all of the world to see, and you can think I am crazy if you want..lol…However, if there is someone out there who reads this and it helps them realize that they are not the only one who experiences this, then I will know that I have helped someone. I get very disappointed in those people who associate mental illness with being crazy or a disability with stupidity. What makes me even angrier is when people say to me, “you graduated college, there is no way in the world that you have ADD.” OR “That is just an excuse for not being organized and your inability to complete tasks.” Well, as far as I am concerned that is complete bullshit. I would do anything to be “normal” (whatever that is!). No one chooses to have a mental illness or disability, and I am not ashamed of it.

When I met my husband, that is when my life started to get better and I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. He has always been supportive and has always believed in me. He has accepted me for who I am and says that he loves me “craziness and all.” In my early twenties, I refused to go to counseling or take medication, this is because I was in denial that I had bipolar and ADD.

During my first year of teaching at the age of 25, my ADD and bipolar took the best of me since my workload increased. You see, being a first year teacher is difficult in itself, now throw on having ADD and bipolar! Talk about total chaos. The workload caused me to have bad anxiety, which led me to becoming depressed. On top of that, I dealt with criticism from my coworkers because I was “always on the go” and spoke very fast. I hated the fact that they would always tell me to “Calm down,” and asked “are you ok?”I just wanted to scream “I am fine damn it! And I do not want to f*&*Ng repeat myself!”

I would consistently be gossipped about and received dirty looks. When our budget did not pass during my first year, I feared losing my job. I even heard that teachers were saying that I should get fired because I am unorganized. I thought “wow, that’s low. They should get fired for being complete As#$*&#@.”  Thankfully getting fired did not occur and it was my breaking point. I would not let my coworkers’ get the best of me because they do not understand mental illnesses and disabilities. I truly felt sorry for them because they never EVER tried to get to know me as a person. I thought to myself, “How the hell can they be in the education field when they do not understand differences?”

With the daily stress that I encountered as a Special Ed. Teacher and my own struggles, I needed someone to speak to. I used to speak to the school psychologist for advice when I was dealing with anxiety and depression. He would always be there waiting to listen with a box of tissues. He was the one who said “Jess, do not take this offensively because you are a hard worker and outstanding teacher, but were you ever diagnosed with ADD?” I told him that I was not but informed him of my depression, anxiety and struggles throughout my schooling. He said “intelligent and creative people such as yourself, struggle with these symptoms as well” He then suggested that I speak to a psychologist outside of school for a diagnosis.

At first, I was offended and thought to myself “who is this guy to tell me that I should get a psychological evaluation?” “What does he think I am, crazy?” That night I put a lot of thought into it and realized that I was in denial and that he was only trying to help me. I knew that he was always there to support me and helped me to believe in myself. It was the first time in my life that I chose to seek help. At 25 years old, I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder, ADD, and Bipolar I disorder (manic depressive).

I then was put on an antidepressant and ADD medication. I have never EVER believed in medication, but let me tell you, it has changed my life. I can achieve more throughout my day. I do not care what other people think of me, and I worry less. My mind was always consumed with thoughts of worry, suspicion, hopelessness and anxiety.I always told myself that people were out to get me and that they did not like me. On the medication, I started to take better care of myself, became much more confident, and my depression and anxiety went away. I even stopped crying at the drop of a hat.

Medicine has changed my life completely and it has  helped me to feel “normal.” For once in my life, I  can actually say that I love my life and look forward to the next day.  It truly has changed my life and solidified that I do have a mental illness and disability. Although the medicine does not change my rapid speech, inability to be organized, and arriving to places on time, I would take that over anxiety and depression anyday.

I am extremely thankful for the day that the school psychologist gave me that advice and for my husband for dealing with my angry outbursts and the days where I went “Crazy” and cursed at him and punched walls and threw things. Not at him of course. LOL. I know…. pretty nuts right? He is a gem among gems and I can never thank god enough for having this amazing man enter my life. For the past 9 years he has supported me and is the most loyal person I know. I hope that if there is anyone out there who is reading this that does not understand ADD and mental illness, I hope this gives you some insight and a better understanding. I also hope that some readers find that they can relate to this, and  that it helps those think twice before calling anyone crazy.

Well, this took a lot for me to share, but if I can help one person out there, then it is worth it and I have achieved my goal. Thank you to those who took the time to read this post. It means a lot to me.

OH, and by the way… You are not crazy! lol

~ Jess ~

A.D.D., A.D.H.D, attention deficit disorder, disabilities, Life!, mental health, Teaching, Uncategorized

A Blessing in Disguise?

Ever since I received notification of my non-renewal and not being granted tenure, I felt sorry for myself. I have felt like a failure and depressed; especially since these are feelings that I have dealt with throughout my entire life. When you have
ADD, you always have to prove yourself, work harder than most people and have a difficult time fitting in.This has always been my experience, and I feel like that may have contributed to their decision.

Since I was not given a reason for my nonrenewal, and being that I have to finish my contract until June 12, I become more and more sad as the year comes to an end. This year, was by far my favorite year. I love my students and have an excellent rapport with them. They are definitely an amazing group of kids. Being non-renewed with excellent observations, and no negative letters in my file, has left me surprised beyond belief. As well as numerous parents, students and faculty.

I saw this coming when a director, out of nowhere, told me I was screwing up, and that I need to learn how to listen and stop interrupting people. I took it upon myself to tell him I was diagnosed with ADD. Then a coworker of mine was spreading rumors that I showed a parent her negative comments about students that she posted on her Facebook Page. First of all, I do not have Facebook and second of all, I have better ways to use my time. This particular teacher made my life miserable my first year as my mentor and continued to do so during my second year. I know for a fact that I am not the only one. She is also friendly with this director… hmm.. Can we say politics? Oh yea, and this teacher, who is tenured, did not get into trouble because she has tenure.

Besides all of that crap, I keep obsessing over coming up with different reasons why this has happened. I think “What could I have done differently?” “Did I do something that I was not told about?” “Why do they not like me?” “Did I not work hard enough?” I mean, I know I taught Special Education (high school, nonetheless), taught the extended school year program for three years, tutored for the district and served as a Student Government Advisor for two years. I guess I needed to do more?

Today, I came to a new realization. Yes, I know I made small mistakes along the way. Small mistakes that have nothing to do with my classroom teaching. I know that teachers make small mistakes along the way, but I feel that this director was just out to get me. Despite that fact that I tutored any student that he wanted me to tutor, no matter the disability or level of difficulty. I tried to please him in anyway, and was always up for the challenge.  I feel like they just used me for three years; which was solely based on one person’s opinion of me (someone who has never read my perfect reviews, and has not even seen me teach) and then decided to not renew/ nor grant me tenure.

To me, it is not the “not getting tenure” part that bothers me, because I could care less about that aspect of teaching. This is  because in a way, I think tenure protects bad teachers. There are some bad teachers in my school, and I am not mentioning names or my district but there are, and nothing is ever done about it. A teacher made fun of students on Facebook, a teacher is known for showing movies, and a teacher arrives late or shows up whenever she pleases to school. I know of a teacher in my school who belittles the Special Ed. students and gossips about other teachers. ETC.ETC.ETC. The list goes on.

In my school, the teachers are broken up into cliques. It reminds me of being in high school. There are the jocks (the history teachers who coach sports), the “popular girls” who hang out with the jocks and also coach sports, there are the teachers who gossip to fit in, the nerdy teachers, the loners and the outcasts etc. Personally, some teachers have made me feel like an outcast and never took it upon themselves to try to get to know me as a person. I decided to avoid the teacher’s lounge because of the endless amount of gossip that goes on, and the cynical teachers who hate their jobs.All of that gossip and cynicism about other teachers and students just makes me plain old depressed. I enjoy eating in my classroom and I keep my door open for those students who want to study, get extra help or use my computers during my lunch. I would rather have my students come visit me than any of the teachers.

Don’t get me wrong, I do have friends. A select few who have never labeled me, excluded me or made me feel like an outcast. They have entered this profession for all of the same reasons that I did. Not for the summers off, or to leave at 2. If you are a good teacher, you know that your job does not end at 2. I also entered it to teach kids and  touch their lives. I have formed bonds with about 5 teachers that I can trust and go to for support, which in itself, is enough for me. I wish there were more nonjudgemental people in this world like them.

After obsessing over this predicament, I have decided to look at this in a much more positive light. I think that this may have been a blessing in disguise. Maybe this is god’s way of telling me that there are bigger and better things out there for me. Maybe I was only supposed to be a teacher for three years, and now it is time to move on. I know this hurts, but sometimes I have to trust in god. I was never a religious person until my mom passed away, and when my life at that point as a teenager, started to snow ball into a series of difficult circumstances. However, I look back and I see all that I have accomplished on my own and it has only made me a stronger person. If I was able to overcome losing my mom at 18, being homeless, living on my own, living in a house with fleas before my mom died, having an emotionally/verbally abusive boyfriend at the time, and always having to deal with Dyfus, I say that I turned out pretty good. I strongly feel that this was god’s plan and he watched out for me.

I think at this moment, I need to trust in him. I need to trust that he has a new plan for me. I know that I put 150 % into my job (which is much more than most teachers put into), and so I know, and many will agree, that this was the result of politics in education.  God probably feels that this effort should be put into a new profession or school where my efforts will not be taken for granted/ go unrecognized.

This most definitely has to be a blessing in disguise, and I have to learn how to prevent myself from over-analyzing the situation. I need to look ahead more positively and trust that god will lead the way. I am going to finish out this school year to the best of my ability and look towards the future. I am sure that I will overcome this obstacle and will be able to look back and be proud that I overcame the situation.  I also need to realize that I had no control over it. Yes, one person may have been out to get me, however, not everyone in life is going to appreciate your hard work, but I am sure that there is someone who will someday. Whether it be a boss, a class, or a new employer, there will be someone who deserves and will not take my dedication for granted.I will not look at this as a loss, but as many lessons learned, and three years of experience. I will also know that I touched the lives of many amazing kids.

A.D.D., A.D.H.D, attention deficit disorder, disabilities, Life!, mental health, Teaching

A.D.D. Has Ruined My Career

Image result for ADDI have been trying to convince myself that things will eventually get better for me, and that this is just a small “bump in the road.” However, it just has not gotten any better. It has gotten much worse. I have cried while on hall duty, skipped cafeteria duty to sit in my room in the dark with the lights off to recompose myself. I have cried to my husband, myself and my mother in law. I have driven myself crazy trying to figure out what it is that I did wrong.

I have slept for hours and have forced myself to finish my contract–this is for the kids.Then I realized that I feel so strongly that I am being wrongfully terminated. Yes, this is clearly what it is…..

I have been told by my supervisors, that I am charismatic, energetic, creative and empathetic. I have also been told that I am an excellent teacher and that I can connect with my students. They have even told me that I am dedicated and hardworking. OK, so… What is the problem here?? Aren’t these all of the qualities that make a teacher outstanding??? I guess all of that clearly does not matter.

Right before I found out that my contract was not going to be renewed, I put a lot of thought into this. A week or two prior to this, I told the director that I have ADD. You see, he was yelling at me on the phone that I do not listen, interrupt people and do not get along with coworkers. Yes, I have the tendency to interrupt and it may seem as though I am not listening, but I know I get along with my coworkers. And I do, in fact, listen. Don’t let me forget that I handed my time cards in late for tutoring, and was screamed at for that, even though I asked for extra time. All of these symptoms combined are a part of my ADD.They clearly just DO NOT care!

Well, according to the Americans with Disabilities Act, “An individual with a disability is defined  as a person who has a physical or mental impairment that substantially limits one or more major life activities, a person who has a history or record of such an impairment, or a person who is perceived by others as having such an impairment” (www.ada.gov). I am an individual with a disability and it does limit me from being able to complete tasks at work at the same rate as other people.

The A.D.A also states that it ” requires that employers to make reasonable accommodations to the known physical or mental limitations of otherwise qualified individuals with disabilities” (www.ada.gov). Oh, really? Well, I have been denied being provided with accommodations such as extended time. And being that I am a Special Education Teacher who knows the laws that protects individuals with disabilities, all that I have to say is, they are screwed.

I am sick and tired of my principal saying “You need to listen” and “stop interrupting me.” I am sick and tired of it. I have worked so hard and am a well respected teacher, that I feel like that just does not matter at all.

You would think that a public school would be more understanding and willing to accommodate you, but no, they just look at you as a hindrance to their “business.”

mental health, Poetry, Teaching, Uncategorized

“The Father of Horror”

edgar_allan_poe_by_crisvector-d3jswe4

Every year, I teach Edgar Allan Poe, and, although my students are reluctant to read his works at first,  they end up loving him. The one fact that they never forget is that he married his 13 year old cousin (even though she was his cousin through marriage). Out of all the facts that they learn about Poe, this is what they are amazed with! kids! Then they start to say he is a creep and a cradle robber….

Recently, we just finished reading “The Raven” and “Annabel Lee” -(some loved the poems , while others hated them!) I can’t make everyone happy!

A few of my students arrived to class today telling me that they saw the movie “The Raven” which just came out starring John Cusack. Just so you readers know, the movie does not follow the poem “The Raven,” however, the title of the movie fits because a raven was considered to be a messenger of death. Isn’t that charming? My students said they felt misled by the title, but they loved it!

Of course,  being a huge Poe fan, I just had to see it! My husband even mustered up enough energy to tag along!  Surprisingly, I LOVED it. My husband could not believe that I actually sat through the entire film! ( I get bored VERY easily) I LOVED how they incorporated different aspects of his short stories throughout the movie. I am not going to give too much detail because I don’t want to ruin it, but it is a must see!

Also, Cusack portrayed an accurate depiction of Poe (in my eyes–based on what I have read about Poe’s life). The movie  allowed me to  view Poe in a different light. After you read about his biography, you think he is a bit disturbed and crazy. I mean, who wouldn’t? It’s Poe! After viewing “The Raven” I sorta had a new found respect for Poe. I empathized with him on a whole new level and saw a romantic side of him that I was unable to see before.

Throughout my years in college, Poe, was my all time favorite American Poet. I love how he is best known for his dark and dreary works that are filled with gothic elements. My  favorite poems by Poe are “Annabel Lee” and “The Raven” which both focus on the theme death of a beautiful woman. Because his poetry is so beautiful, I always catch  myself reciting lines from them repeatedly in my mind, such as his famous lines from “The Raven”.. “quote the raven nevermore” and “once upon a midnight dreary while I pondered weak and weary.” The lines from”Annabel Lee” that I cannot forget are: ” For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams; And the stars never rise but I feel the bright eyes.”

Gotta love good ole’ internal rhyme!

There is something absolutely intriguing about Poe’s works that make him an extraordinary writer. In my mind, although he was deranged and fully embodied the characteristics of a madman, he was absolutely brilliant. In many ways, I feel as though I can truly relate to  Poe’s life. I believe, many of us can, one way or another.

I can relate to him on many different levels— minus the ability to write gruesome horror stories… Like Poe, I lost my mother and my father had left when I was young.  I was adopted and so was Poe. He struggled with mental illness and despite the fact that my husband has called me crazy several times, I have been diagnosed with ADD, Bipolar and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Hey, what do ya know? It is always the crazy ones who are creative.

Like Poe, writing has always been my outlet of expression.  He had such a gift and it was a shame that he was not recognized sooner. I truly admire Poe, because despite all of the obstacles he had faced in life, he became a success and his legacy lives on.

A.D.D., A.D.H.D, attention deficit disorder, disabilities, Life!, mental health, Teaching

Blonde Moments

I am a special education teacher who truly loves what I do. Each and everyday I walk into my classroom and I look past all of my students’ imperfections. I do not look at the kid who the other teachers fear that they will get on their roster come the beginning of September, but I look at that kid as a challenge. One of my more challenging kids, who is judged and labeled as being “crazy” and “bad” is personally one of my favorite kids.

He does what other people do not have the balls to do. He does not follow rules and defies authority. He speaks what is on his mind–to the point where it actually gets him into trouble. I have been cursed of by this student, and most teachers ask why I have not given up on him. They question, why do I even try or care? They say that I will never be able to reach him. I say I know I can. And I have.

Well, the other day, he said something that really made me laugh. He raised his hand and our conversation went sorta something like this: (obviously I am using pseudonyms to avoid criticism and getting in trouble!):

Greg: ::raises hand::

Mrs. Teacher: Yes, Greg?

Greg:Uhmmmmm… Mrs. Teacher,I just wanted to let you know …Uhmmm… that…

Mrs. Teacher: That… what is it Greg?

Greg: That you are really smart. You have your days when you are teaching and I think to myself, wow, Mrs. Teacher sure is one smart lady. But then …… I … uhmmm…..

Mrs. Teacher: You…. what Greg?

Greg: Well, don’t take this the wrong way, Mrs. Teacher, but you have your blonde moments.

Mrs. Teacher: Blonde moments? What do you mean blonde moments?

Greg: Well, you know….blonde moments. I know you are a brunette and everything, but I sometimes wonder if you are a true blonde because you have these “duh” moments.

Mrs. Teacher: ::laughs::

Just thought this was funny!!! Had to share!