If I were to write a letter to Facebook (lets pretend it is an actual person) explaining why I no longer have it in my life, this is what the letter would look like: (lol)
I am deeply sorry for not returning, however, my life without you has been much better. I had originally left Myspace for you because you had made my life much more easier and convenient. There were some good reasons for having you in my life. You encouraged me to keep in contact with family and reunite with old friends. I was able to save money on stamps and envelopes since I had the luxury of being able to send out group invitations for events. If I did not feel up to speaking with anyone, I could post a status so that people would know that I was still alive. I could show off my photography and keep people ” in the know” as to my every single move. Life was good.
Then, just like with any other relationship, things went sour.
You made me realize just how much I was missing out on in life by simply reading other peoples’ statuses. You start to feel depressed when you see that your friends went to the Dominican Republic without you. Which makes you realize just how truly lame your life actually is because you are currently on Facebook (no offense) reading other people’s statuses while they are meeting hot Dominicans.
You were way too demanding. Too much of my time was spent being dedicated to you when I could have been doing other things. I was scared that it was turning into an addiction. You know you have a problem when you start Facebooking Stalking. (if anyone is reading this– you know you did it! you were a victim of Facebook stalking!! lol)
You also made me realize how many friends I did not have. After a little comparing and contrasting, you start to notice other people with 500 friends, and then you realize you only have 100, which starts to make you feel like a loser. But, hey, you reminded me of this everyday.
You were high maintenance. I could not understand why I had to keep you posted of my every move via status postings. Can we say demanding? This only encouraged stalkers to enter into my life. I mean, do people really need to know when I take a shower or walk my dog? Keeping up with the statuses were time consuming. Then you wanted me to “check in?” Wayyyyyy to take away all of my freedom.
I need consistency in my life, and you are not consistent. Trying to keep up with your new appearance was difficult to adjust to. Why couldn’t you just remain the same? Now my life had to be broken down into a timeline for you! Really? A timeline? no comment.
I think what made me truly end it with you, Facebook, was when you constantly threw it in my face when my friends were mad at me. Once I logged on and saw that I was unfriended, it always made me furious.Especially when they got to do the unfriending first! Oh, the agony! It seemed as though you took pride in that. I also could never understand why you always encouraged me to befriend every person who I have met throughout my entire life. I mean, really. Do I really need to become friends with my hairdresser? the mailman? I felt like I was constantly competing with other people as to who had more friends. So befriending anyone and everyone seemed like the cool way to make my friend circle bigger.
This pretty much sums up why I can no longer have you in my life, my dearest Facebook. It was nice having you in my life while it lasted, but I am happy to have my privacy and freedom back. I am sure you will be fine since you have a million admirers. Maybe one day I will find it in my heart to reactivate.