What Every Waitress Wants to Tell You

Ever since I have lost my teaching job and returned to graduate school, I have went back to waitressing. When I first returned I was pretty enthusiastic and as the months have passed there are so many things that really get on my nerves about the job. So many things I wish I could tell customers. Do not get me wrong, I have waited on many great people…. but there are some out there who need to hear this.

  1. Separate checks suck. Plain and simple.
  2. If you are going to get a separate check, then tell us prior to taking your order.
  3. Servers make $2.63 an hour. NO LIE. So please tip accordingly.
  4. PLEASE do not tell us you are ready to order when you clearly are not. Having us stand there takes away time we could be using to wait on other tables.
  5. We do much more than just serving food. We make salads and desserts. We get your drinks and dress your food. We clean off your dirty dishes and are constantly running back and forth attending to our customers every needs.
  6. If we take longer than expected to get to you, it is not because we are a horrible server, sometimes things happen beyond our control and keep us from getting to your table quicker than we want to.
  7. If the food comes out subpar, it is NOT our fault. We did not cook it.
  8. 20% is the tip percentage. PLEASE tip 20 percent. Leaving five dollars on a one hundred dollar check is just ridiculous.
  9. Just because you want a glass of water with your drink does not mean everyone at the table does so do not order everyone a glass of water.
  10. If you ordered a water along with your drink, please drink it!
  11. Please do not run us back and forth. If you need more than one thing, please tell us all at once.
  12. If you ask us whether or not something is good on the menu and we suggest otherwise, then why would you order it and then complain or send it back?? Listen to us, we know.
  13. We hate hot tea, chocolate milk and coffee. That’s all.
  14. Do not hold the menus up in our face when we are taking your order. We obviously cannot grab them since we are taking everyone’s order at your table. And please please pleaaaaaase do not hold dirty dishes up; we will clear your table, promise.
  15. When you do not have your order ready yet and ask us 1000 questions because you are too lazy to read the menu is just annoying.
  16. You are being rude when you are glued to your phone, yet you tell us you are ready to order.
  17. Please do not make a ton of special requests. There are other customers and your special requests annoy the cooks.
  18. Please do not stack the plates up for us, we have a system.
  19. If we ask you how you are, please be polite and answer us. Giving us a drink order in response to the question is just plain old rude.
  20. At the end of your meal, we are responsible for keeping our station clean, so please clean up the mess that your child leaves everywhere. It is not fair to us to have to clean up the mac and cheese your child flung all over the floor.
  21. Do not come to the restaurant five minutes before we close. That is so unfair to all workers who want to go home.